To Suffer

I don’t know how I’m going to make Hatay.  I feel broken.  The flat road I had been praying for has greeted me in return with a head wind so strong I can barely turn the pedals.  I feel embarrassed and wonder what people think as I cycle alongside them at the same speed as they walk.  I want to quit.  Why am I doing this?  None of it makes sense to me. None of it.  I want to give in.  I want to give in so badly.

I spot a hill in front of me.  I spot the cafe to the side of me.  An emergency stop at 5 mph follows with the knowledge that coffee is the universal healer for such a situation.  I order my coffee and sit down.  I lay my wind battered face on the table and in seconds I’m asleep.  I wake up half an hour later.  There is no coffee in front of me.  I ask for it again not sure if they had misunderstood me or if I was passed out when it was brought to me.  I agreed with myself it was definitely the first reason.  The coffee was downed tequila style.  I jumped up, got back on it and attacked the hill as fast as I could to get it over with.

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There are days I cycle around the world that my body is suffering and the road rarely grants sympathy.  On these days I have only the capacity to concentrate all my thoughts on getting through the next 500 meters of cycling.  I repeat this process all day if need be.  You may notice the lack of photos for this day.  I simply hadn’t the energy to capture the moments.

At 4 pm a mountain ahead comes into my vision, the road winding back and forth across from the bottom to the top. There is a petrol station to the side of me.  For the second time that day I emergency stopped.  I asked to pitch my tent at the back of the petrol station.  A phone call is made whilst Lucy makes a new friend.

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Permission is granted and I pitch the tent.  I then head straight to the beach with Lucy to loose the days difficulties through the joy of playing with my dog.

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The petrol stations manager above Cemil Boz, opened up his office to me in the evening so I could write you a blog and was so kind as to deliver my dinner.  All the staff were great and went out of their way to make me feel safe and comfortable as a guest of their petrol station.

I got into my tent that night and for the first time of our 1400 mile adventure I didn’t need to tuck Lucy into her sleeping bag.  It was much warmer here than a few hundred miles up the coast. On what was the worst head wind day of my cycling existence I was also awarded sunburn.  I felt abused by the elements of nature.  I lay in a state of exhaustion feeling the pain of my sun burn wondering what the hill was going to be like tomorrow.  Would I manage it?  I didn’t know if I could do it.  Would I give up?  I was so close now to giving up. Would tomorrow be the end of our adventure?

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Love WBG & Lucy xxx

15 thoughts on “To Suffer

  1. Morning Ishbel.How are you feeling today.Hope it’s good.It is nice and sunny in Marmaris hope you come back this way.where abouts are you today ? Keep going xx

  2. Tthey should make film of your journeys you are an amazing woman and Lucy is certainly going to miss you and you him

  3. I’m sure you will feel better tomorrow,and you can do it.You have come this far.But hey if you want to stop it’s ok You aren’t giving up You have come this far.More than any one else would do.You have still achieved so much and more.What ever you feel you want to do its ok.Well done you are amazing Stay safe.xx

  4. Swimming costume on and go for a swim with Lucy.have a few efes and let your hair down.remember everyone is behind you whatever you choose to do

  5. Feel your pain ishbel.there’s no shame if you call it a day.sleep on it and if you feel the same tomorrow call it a day.think of yourself for once and not what people will think have a few days off and enjoy where you are get your

  6. Wishing you much ‘power to your legs’ Ishbel. You are meeting such lovely people and I am sure there are many more along your road ahead and up the hills and mountains. p.s. buy some sunblock 🙂 lots of best wishes from a chilly UK . I love reading your adventures. Estelle xxxxx

  7. edna ballantyne says:

    Feel your pain girlie.So proud of you.Take some time to recharge the batteries if you have to.You are your own worst enemy….or is it enema???????LOL!Just think of the stories you will be able to tell the other care residents in ‘St Judes Rest Home’ when you are a 100.!!!!!

  8. Please hang in ..stop for a few days ..get the energy ..Then start again..Some times we need to take a breath ..But never give up ..

  9. FUERZAA!!! GENIA!! a seguir pedaleandooo!! las sigo desde Argentina !!

  10. Margaret mccallum says:

    Stay Strong and focused my dear girl . Think of your goals . May God be with you . Stay safe . Sending healing hugs xxxxx

  11. FUERZAAA!! Vamos!!! , a seguir pedaleando !!! Es genial lo que haces !! las sigo desde Argentina!!

  12. Get your lazy ass over that hill Girl!

  13. Laura Miezejeski says:

    Hang in there!!! These are the days that make you stronger. Keep pedaling. One pedal stroke at a time. You’ll make it 😉

  14. anne marie russell says:

    chin up stay safe!!

  15. Sometimes when it feels as if things are falling apart, it could be that things are actually falling into place. Who knows what lies ahead, around the next corner? Rest awhile and let your body and mind be still … breathe. You have a lot of resilience Ishbel, never doubt that. (Resilience = hardiness + mental focus). Trust in this and it will get you through, you always bounce back. xx Hugs for you and Lucy for the road ahead. xx

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